Getting Organized

The past few months have been so very full.  My correspondence with anyone outside of my family has basically evaporated.  I am truly sorry for disappearing.  Most of you know that I am terrible at keeping in touch, but lately it hasn't been just forgetfulness.  I am currently nursing Josephine and typing away.  Anytime I have wanted to sit down and write an email or make a phone call I have been juggling too many things to warrant the time I need.  I think that is my problem.  I want so much to have full conversations and write complete emails.  It just can't happen.  My conversations with Lucas are truncated.  Luckily we talk several times a day and don't have to catch up on months of news.

So if you are curious here is what has been going on:

December/January:  The end of my pregnancy.  I was feeling exhausted and private.  My parents came to Seattle to visit and to be at Jo's birth.  My dad's health seemed to be deteriorating but we had no definitive answers.

January 23rd:  Josephine Ada was born via cesarean.  The surgery itself was really difficult.  The anesthesia didn't work so well and I had problems with feeling too much and loss of blood pressure.  BUT! Our girl was born and she was healthy!  She is a total dreamboat.

End of January/Early February:  I was healing.  We were getting used to our new baby.  My dad's health got really bad.  He had surgery in Seattle, needed a late night ER trip, then woke up one morning dizzy, confused and slurring his words.  A brain scan showed his cancer had moved to the brain in what looked to be a very serious way.  His oncologist told him to head to Minnesota ASAP if that is where he wanted to be.

So, with my two week old baby and my newly big-brothered Owen I hopped on a plane with my parents to be with them in Minnesota.  I was still healing from the c-section (it takes about 6 weeks to heal completely).  I was there for 4 weeks as people gathered and it looked like my Dad would die any time.  My brother Matt took a two month leave from his work in Amsterdam and has been here being a wonder.  My dad had radiation on his brain and started a new chemo drug with low side effects and a 10% chance of efficacy.  Near the end of my four weeks my dad decided he needed some warmth and wanted to travel.  The idea for the Southern Comfort Tour was hatched.  Bless my mother for being brave and game.  They rented an RV, and with Matt drove down to Florida to visit friends, then headed west to Phoenix where the whole family gathered at my dad's cousin's estate where we were welcomed with open arms and hearts.  It was a beautiful and emotional week.

I was able to be in Seattle for 2 weeks while my parents were doing the Florida and then heading west part of the tour.  I had looked forward to a peaceful time with much visiting with friends.  However, Owen got sick and REALLY cranky and then as he seemed to be healing up the rest of us caught the cold.  Lucas and I felt terrible but healed up quickly.  Josephine handled her first cold at 7 weeks with much strength but she was too small to fight it on her own.  She and I spent a few days at Children's Hospital  where she received supportive care.  It said a lot of my state that those days were the most relaxing time I had had since Jo had been born.  After we returned from the hospital Owen got worse and was diagnosed with a sinus infection.  I was desperate to get the kids healthy so we could head to Phoenix.  They got better just in time.  But my time in Seattle was spent doing the sick thing, not the visiting and re-energizing that I had imagined.

So now I am back in St. Paul.  Sans Lucas.  It is the right place for me to be.  This is a difficult time, but it also feels sacred.  I will fill in details later in the blog, or individually.  It feels good to think people can follow what is going on if they are interested.  Please don't hesitate to call or email me.  I really value my people.  It is just that I am focused in right now.